GoodGnomes

If I was approached by a garden gnome, I would probably be disrespected by it in some way or another; perhaps he tells me to go home and grab my shine box and shine his shoes. I would then become angry with the gnome.  Later, I would return and kill the gnome, right where I first saw him. Unfortunately for me, the gnome would turn out to be a made man in the Gambino crime family.  I would most likely then call up Ray Liotta and Robert De Niro to help me get rid of the body. We would put him in a rolled up carpet and put him in the trunk of Ray Liotta’s car. On the way to bury the gnome however, we would discover that the gnome is actually still living. We would have to stop at my mother’s house, which is on the way, to get a weapon. We would walk in and she would ask who my friends were. I’d say that I work with them. She would then make us a quick meal, which we would eat. But I would want to get out of there as quick as possible. We would finally arrive where we were to bury him. I would open the trunk to find the made gnome, lying in the trunk. I would begin to stab him with the knife that I snagged from my mother’s house. When this wasn’t working as well as I planned, so I would pull out my heater and blast him. Then, months later, I would be murdered for touching a made gnome. So it’s probably better that a gnome never talks to me. And this is not taken from goodfellas at all.